My hand turned me down
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Randomize
