So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
