She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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