He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize