honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
