You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
