My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
