She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
