she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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