It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
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