Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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