Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
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shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
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Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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