Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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