oh god the rape fog is back!
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
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