You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
