he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
