i think i have herpe
just one?
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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