Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Randomize
