she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
