Whod you bang
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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