Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
