you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Randomize
