i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
