We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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