weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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