If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
