The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
