its not stalking. its research.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Randomize
