Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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