Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Just pee around me
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
