So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
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I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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