Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
My cat gives me a boner
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
