hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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