I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
