im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize