we're blogging at a bar
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
