:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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