She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize