Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
