Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
