You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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