DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
