$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
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its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
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