i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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