I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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