Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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