so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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