Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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