Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
he just fucked me for my cheese.
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