my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
