Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
