So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I think I just sharted jello shots
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
