bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
