ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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