Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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