Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
