saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
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