I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
