Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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