Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
